Uncategorized thoughts

I don't post here as often as I should. Or maybe as often as I think I should. I sometimes feel that maybe no one is listening to what I have to say. Other times I feel that I have so much I want to say that it all gets so jumbled in my brain that I can't coherently transfer those ideas and beliefs into words.

My problem is motivation. My bigger problem is not knowing what motivates me. I have constant channels of inspiration through sites I love to visit (Superforest.org or Mr. Mraz's blog), the music I listen to, and the movies and documentaries I watch. But rarely does that inspiration manifest into anything bigger than my own thoughts. Sometimes I think that's enough. Other times I realize that it isn't enough and I have a duty as a human being to spread truth and knowledge to anybody who will listen.

Derek and I just watched Michael Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story. It was a moving and enlightening film that pushed my "This is BS! Where do we start? What can we do?"  button. We then talked about the period of time in which that feeling usually lasts...about 1-2 weeks for someone not fully dedicated to the cause. We may think and feel the same way but our actions slowly revert to not reflect our ideals because we don't have those constant reminders. Of course this isn't the case for everyone but it's not uncommon.

For me that loss of dedication happens on a regular basis. I need constant reminders for why I'm doing what I'm doing. Be it writing, photography, supporting a cause or achieving any life goal. It could be that I haven't fully embraced 'me' and I'm constantly wasting time trying to figure out who I should be. But that is of my own doing. For me yoga has become an integral part in teaching me about myself. Now if the world could offer me enough time to figure out myself and put a pause on bills and other societal requirements I'd be ever so grateful.

But you know what? Sometimes I feel that all of this craziness in my head is my inner naturalist wanting to escape. To get away from the things we've made up as a society to keep us civilized. I just want to run to the mountains with as many loved ones willing to come and make a life for ourselves with nature as the ruler of all things. Oh, what dreams may come...

Though I may not be constantly posting it's safe to say that I'm usually sitting in front of this screen throughout my days. So if any of you have something interesting, moving, or offensive to say...let me know. I'll be here.

-Nessa

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. -John Muir

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